


Happy Birthday, Zimmboni

by betheflame



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Birthday Party, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, M/M, Multi, Smut and Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:15:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25757224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betheflame/pseuds/betheflame
Summary: “Kent,” Bitty breathed, “I really need to finish the crust. I’m not messing with you.”Parse huffed. “Fine. Do you want me to peel the peaches?”“Could you?” Bitty beamed at him. “I’d love you forever.”Kent kissed Bitty’s temple and then moved to the other side of the kitchen. “So you claim, Bittle.”_____Or, in which Kent and Bitty throw Jack a birthday party, even though he really doesn't want one, but we all know he does, because Jack.
Relationships: Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Kent "Parse" Parson/Jack Zimmermann
Comments: 12
Kudos: 71





	Happy Birthday, Zimmboni

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FestiveFerret](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FestiveFerret/gifts).



> As a kick off to birthday celebrations, I offer this humble fic - my first in the Check Please fandom - to the lady who got me obsessed with PB&J in the first place.
> 
> Thanks to ashes0909 for the beta and for assuring me Ferret will like it. So, Ferretlove, if you don't, it's ashes' fault.

“Get your fingers out of there,” Bitty sassed as he slapped Parse’s fingers.

“That’s not what you said last night,” Parse said, with a growl in his voice. He leaned into Bitty and nipped at his ear.

Bitty rolled his eyes. “If you struggle with the differences between my ass and dough, then we are breaking up.”

Parse didn’t rise to the bait. “You could give me a remedial course.”

“You are on my last _ever loving_ nerve, Kent Parsons,” Bitty replied. He grabbed some more flour from the tin and spread it over the counter. “I have to give this dough time to chill before the party tonight that Jack doesn’t know about, which wouldn’t be nearly as stressful as it currently is if you would have allowed me _to tell him_.”

“Bits,” Parse replied with a lazy drawl, “he’d try to guilt us into canceling it. We went through this last year on his birthday. We only made it happen because Shitty and Lardo showed up early. You seem incapable of saying no when he starts to pounce. Which works out well for all of us when he wants your mouth on his dick -”

“Do you think about sex literally all the time?”

“No,” Parse replied, and then betrayed his words by grabbing Bitty’s hips and grinding into his ass. “Sometimes I think about food. Every once and a while, I guess I think about hockey, but when I’m around you…”

“This charm you think you have will get you nowhere,” Bitty replied, but he could hear the catch in his own voice. Five years together meant that Parse could play him like a fiddle.

And Bitty knew Parse knew it.

“It’s already gotten me my dreams coming true,” Parse whispered into Bitty’s ear. “I have the two men I love who claim they love me back.”

_Oh my GAWD._

99% of the time, Parse was sarcastic and hostile and snappy and flirty all in equal measure and Bitty loved all those versions. But that 1% of the time he was completely honest? That _destroyed_ Bitty.

“Kent,” Bitty breathed, “I really need to finish the crust. I’m not messing with you.”

Parse huffed. “Fine. Do you want me to peel the peaches?”

“Could you?” Bitty beamed at him. “I’d love you forever.”

Kent kissed Bitty’s temple and then moved to the other side of the kitchen. “So you claim, Bittle.”

* * *

Jack was breathing heavy by the time he got to the dog park. He checked his pulse quickly and then decided that it was as good a place as any to cool down. During the off season, he and Kent and Bitty lived in the Brookline neighborhood in Boston and his running route was pretty set. He’d head out of the house and down to the reservoir and run around it twice. If Bitty was working out of the house that day - he worked in social media for the Cambridge Culinary Institute, even though both Parse and Jack wanted him to open his own bakery but Bitty claimed it was too big of a risk and they’d only had that argument fourteen times in the last seven months - he’d stop by Zaftig’s and get breakfast to go and maybe stop in at Brookline Booksmith to see his favorite fellow Jonathan Franzen hater, Adam.

But he’d changed his route a little today to avoid the photography class Parse had mentioned he saw on his run and ended up passing a dog park.

And, well, was there anyone on the planet who was immune to happy dogs? Jack Zimmerman certainly wasn’t. So he stretched in the corner and watched a woman training her golden retriever. Her voice was soothing and she obviously knew what she was doing. Jack was still shy and awkward around anyone new, but he also really loved being around people who were good at their jobs. He lost a little track of time as he listened to her and tried to make mental notes.

His watch buzzed with an incoming text.

_Bitty: your boyfriend is being very distracting. Pls save me._

Jack snorted out a laugh. He and Bitty had been married for seven years and they’d started dating Parse a few years in. They’d offered a million times to have a triad commitment ceremony, but Parse always turned them down. He was happy with ‘boyfriend’, happy to keep it a little secret, happy that the only people who knew about them were the people who mattered.

Jack knew it bothered Bitty, who worried it was because Parse thought they didn’t really love him or something of the sort, but Jack was simply happy they were all happy. He never thought he’d get here and he wasn’t going to ask too many questions about it. His therapist would yell at him if he did.

_Jack: Do you notice he’s my boyfriend when he’s annoying you?_

_Bitty: I am sure I don’t know what you mean._  
  
Jack felt a smile twist his mouth unconsciously. God, he loved this man.

_Jack: I’m on my way home._

_Bitty: On your way by my definition or yours?_

_Jack: Yours_

_Bitty: YAY!_

Jack laughed. He stretched for a few more beats and then started a slow jog back to the house.

* * *

“Kent,” Bitty moaned and Kent fought a smile.

He’d helped get the pies ready - he was handy and obedient when it served his purposes - and then he’d slowly nibbled his way down Bitty’s neck until Bitty was essentially melting into him and that was his cue.

He couldn’t carry Bitty the way Jack could - the physics didn’t really work when they were essentially the same size - but he could manhandle him. He’d simply looped his pinky finger through the drawstring on Bitty’s sweatpants and dragged him to the bedroom.

Where he’d proceeded to divest Bitty of his clothing and make good on his flirty promises.

“Kent when you -” Bitty breathed and Kent fluttered his tongue along the underside of Bitty’s cock. You weren’t with someone for years without knowing how to tease them. Kent knew how to set both of his loves off like rockets and how to tease them endlessly.

Today was for teasing.

“Kent, _please_ ,” Bitty whined.

There was a noise behind Kent and he was about to pop himself off of Bitty’s cock when he saw Bitty break out into a huge smile.

“I told you I was on my way home,” Jack said and Kent chuckled, which sent vibrations against Bitty, who then writhed and whimpered.

Kent felt a kiss at the top of his head and Jack whispered in his ear. “Where do you want me?”

Kent pulled himself off Bitty and turned to kiss Jack full on. Almost nothing turned Jack on more quickly than to taste one of them in the mouth of the other.

“He’s getting mouthy,” Kent replied when he pulled back.

“I’m being tortured,” Bitty protested.

“Geneva Convention violations, I’m sure,” Jack replied.

“Oh, baby, you have no idea,” Bitty sighed.

“I’m gonna sit on your face then,” Jack replied as Parse planted kisses on Bitty’s trembling inner thighs. “Block your view and keep you occupied.”

“Well -” Bitty started what Parse was sure would be a witty comeback, but he chose that moment to swallow Bitty whole.

Jack positioned himself at Bitty’s mouth. “You were saying?”

Jack and Parse worked in a well worn routine to reduce Bitty to a whimpering mess before finally letting him come. The three then stumbled into the shower together and ended up back in a damp but satisfied cuddle pile in the bed.

“I saw nine pine crusts cooling,” Jack murmured.

“I felt inspired,” Bitty replied and Parse swallowed his snort.

Jack sighed. “Just tell Shitty to bring enough vodka this year that we’re not Instacarting at midnight?”

“You cannot deny that your birthday party last year was amazing,” Parse replied.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do with you two.”

“I have some ideas,” Bitty said, adding extra drawl into the word ‘ideas’. He shifted himself so that he was straddling Jack with a quickness Parse was fairly envious of. “The crusts have to cool for forty-five more minutes. Wanna help me pass the time?”

“For as long as we both shall live,” Jack replied and pulled Bitty down for a kiss.

Kent would vomit in his mouth if he didn’t love them both so much.

**Author's Note:**

> First crack at these lads - did I do okay? I usually write MCU fluff with Tony, Bucky, and Steve, but... PB&J really aren't that different, so if I should dip into hockey idiots more often than superhero idiots, please let me know.


End file.
